Modern Hustler Gifts

'I also do taxes.'

'Would you all please congatulate...'

Engineer on the move.

"It's not my fault! Tariffs on lemon imports have forced me to increase my prices."

The Real American Dream

'I really don't care about your work/life balance.'

"Now that she works from home we never get to use the computer."

"Let's face it, if we were getting any customers they'd have been here by now."

"It started out as a joke but I've made twenty bucks ... "

A salesman father waves to his son at the maternity ward.

"Hey, bro...it's the least I could do."

Small Business Loan of Pencils

'You want a raise? - You only started work yesterday!'

The housing market begins to deflate.

Street person selling bricks from wall he's leaning on.

'I quit the ice cream stand last year. Now I'm double dipping.'

'Business's sure a lot better since we started adding your Dad's stuff.'

"Om, Ah, Om, Sajra, Guru, Padma, Onions, Peppers, Cheese, Wine, Pasta, Milk, Loo Roll..."

"Well he's sweating, pale, and out of breath, but then again he's not used to being home doing the housework."

'I'd like to inquire about franchise opportunities.'

'Normally, Schowalter, I applaud initiative, but....'

"My day? Don't even get me started!"

'Dad, I've decided to make some money to supplement my allowance.' 'Good for you. Got a little mowing job?' 'Nope. A tip jar. And oh by the way, 15 to 20 percent is customary.'

This Dynamic high-powered team of does and decision makers reaches and screeches to a halt in front of its most difficult obstacle of the year.

'My parents say it will give me a sense of responsibility and pride in accomplishment. I'm looking at it as a 'get rich quick' scheme.'

'Portfolio evaluation; $2.50'

'Damp. What damp?'

Feel the baby kick - 5 cents

Man motivated by money, rabbit motivated by carrot.

"And now, if I may, I'd like to put You on hold for a moment while I have a few words with Mammon."

Bill struggled for years trying to make a name for himself in the city.

I'm making extra money offering services on that freelance jobs site exploitrr.com. What're you offering, little buddy? Book promotion? Logo design? Backup services. For just $5 per thread, I'll back you up in all your online arguments. I suspect you're going to make a killing. I'll post things like you sure told him! And you're brilliant, total stranger!

"It helps me to focus more on success and less on my tail."

'Hard Day?'

"I guess I shouldn't complain. At least he has steady work."