Home Sweet Homesteader Gifts

"You've got termites."

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

"Drunk, yet orderly"

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

On Valentine's Day, sometimes you don't need cards, candy or flowers from the ones who love you.

"One silo is for grain, the other is for the money we save on gas."

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

"Here's the new smart plant...it tells you when you're overwatering it."

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

'I know what you're thinking, honey, it's out of our price range but, wait till you see the size of the mailman's leg on this route!'

Romance over the Irons

Nest building

The Rudges' peaceful home

'Phase Two : More of the same'

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

"The government is comin' to take away our freedom. Barricade yourself inside, Marge, and stay there 'til I tell you."

"Tia Carmen, is this our house or is it our home?"

Changing house name.

"I'm so much more relaxed now that I got a reverse mortgage."

'You won't last ten minutes out there.'

"Homeowner please help."

'Well! Another near miss! Remind me not to listen to you next time you say it's okay to move in downstairs from a young family and that's not the reason the place was so cheap!'

'The Pentagon has ruled, Sargeant, since the barracks is your home,you can keep a dog, or a cat, but not both.'

A chicken coop with a loudspeaker on the roof

'Cosy little kitchen, isn't it?'

I don't care if they are a protected species, Henry, I'm calling the exterminator!!

Modern Shepherding

"Murray, I need you to push a little harder on my home sale. I'm starting to get a little under water on my mortgage."