Home Sweet Homesteader Gifts

"You've got termites."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"Drunk, yet orderly"

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

NYer uploaded by mod - "Come look, hon! We just got a new cactus!"

On Valentine's Day, sometimes you don't need cards, candy or flowers from the ones who love you.

"One silo is for grain, the other is for the money we save on gas."

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"Here's the new smart plant...it tells you when you're overwatering it."

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

'I know what you're thinking, honey, it's out of our price range but, wait till you see the size of the mailman's leg on this route!'

Nest building

Romance over the Irons

The Rudges' peaceful home

'Phase Two : More of the same'

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

"The government is comin' to take away our freedom. Barricade yourself inside, Marge, and stay there 'til I tell you."

Changing house name.

"I'm so much more relaxed now that I got a reverse mortgage."

'You won't last ten minutes out there.'

"Tia Carmen, is this our house or is it our home?"

"Homeowner please help."

'The Pentagon has ruled, Sargeant, since the barracks is your home,you can keep a dog, or a cat, but not both.'

'Well! Another near miss! Remind me not to listen to you next time you say it's okay to move in downstairs from a young family and that's not the reason the place was so cheap!'

A chicken coop with a loudspeaker on the roof

'Cosy little kitchen, isn't it?'

I don't care if they are a protected species, Henry, I'm calling the exterminator!!

"Did you not hear me when I said I wanted a colonial?"

Modern Shepherding

"The middle of nowhere was too dead for us, so we moved her to the outskirts of nowhere where there's a lot more going on!"