Home Sweet Home Gifts

'The Pentagon has ruled, Sargeant, since the barracks is your home,you can keep a dog, or a cat, but not both.'

'We'll take it!'

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

Home Foreclosed Home.

"It's like a tiny house, but bigger."

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

'Looks like you're underwater on your mortgage.'

"You've got termites."

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

'I know what you're thinking, honey, it's out of our price range but, wait till you see the size of the mailman's leg on this route!'

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

Nest building

'Phase Two : More of the same'

"I'm so much more relaxed now that I got a reverse mortgage."

Changing house name.

"Tia Carmen, is this our house or is it our home?"

"By offering your home as security, you are giving the lender a legal claim to your property."

'Cosy little kitchen, isn't it?'

"Homeowner please help."

'Well! Another near miss! Remind me not to listen to you next time you say it's okay to move in downstairs from a young family and that's not the reason the place was so cheap!'

I don't care if they are a protected species, Henry, I'm calling the exterminator!!

"Murray, I need you to push a little harder on my home sale. I'm starting to get a little under water on my mortgage."

"It's true that the basement's flooded, but it's stocked."

"I'm broke, I'm back...and I'm willing to discuss law school."

'Are you thinking of selling your bijou residence?'

'I like child bearing HIPS!'

"It says our homeowners insurance policy is subject to the following forms and endorsements..."

New house smell.

'Well I think everything is in order. Congratulations on your new home!'