Home Sweet Home Gifts

It seems so big now that the kids are gone.

'The Pentagon has ruled, Sargeant, since the barracks is your home,you can keep a dog, or a cat, but not both.'

"Welcome to your new home, Dad."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

'We'll take it!'

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

Home Foreclosed Home.

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

"It's like a tiny house, but bigger."

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

'Looks like you're underwater on your mortgage.'

"You've got termites."

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

'I know what you're thinking, honey, it's out of our price range but, wait till you see the size of the mailman's leg on this route!'

Oh, one door closes, another opens -- How have you been?

Nest building

'Phase Two : More of the same'

"I'm so much more relaxed now that I got a reverse mortgage."

Changing house name.

"Tia Carmen, is this our house or is it our home?"

"By offering your home as security, you are giving the lender a legal claim to your property."

'Well! Another near miss! Remind me not to listen to you next time you say it's okay to move in downstairs from a young family and that's not the reason the place was so cheap!'

'Cosy little kitchen, isn't it?'

"Homeowner please help."

I don't care if they are a protected species, Henry, I'm calling the exterminator!!

"Did you not hear me when I said I wanted a colonial?"

"I'm broke, I'm back...and I'm willing to discuss law school."

"It's true that the basement's flooded, but it's stocked."

"Murray, I need you to push a little harder on my home sale. I'm starting to get a little under water on my mortgage."

'Are you thinking of selling your bijou residence?'

'I like child bearing HIPS!'