Home Sweet Homers Gifts

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

Boy with bat using toaster to launch bread for him to practise hitting

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"We won again, and guess what? A Russian oligarch wants to buy us!"

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

'I know what you're thinking, honey, it's out of our price range but, wait till you see the size of the mailman's leg on this route!'

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

Nest building

'Phase Two : More of the same'

Changing house name.

"I'm so much more relaxed now that I got a reverse mortgage."

"Tia Carmen, is this our house or is it our home?"

David Ortiz a.k.a Big Papi

"A little high and inside."

"Homeowner please help."

'Well! Another near miss! Remind me not to listen to you next time you say it's okay to move in downstairs from a young family and that's not the reason the place was so cheap!'

'Congratulations, Hightower. You now lead the league in untainted urine samples.'

'Cosy little kitchen, isn't it?'

'The Pentagon has ruled, Sargeant, since the barracks is your home,you can keep a dog, or a cat, but not both.'

I don't care if they are a protected species, Henry, I'm calling the exterminator!!

"Man, he pulled that one out of thin air!"

"I'm broke, I'm back...and I'm willing to discuss law school."

"Murray, I need you to push a little harder on my home sale. I'm starting to get a little under water on my mortgage."