Home Sweet Home Comeback Gifts

"I'm broke, I'm back...and I'm willing to discuss law school."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

Home Foreclosed Home.

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

"It's like a tiny house, but bigger."

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

'Looks like you're underwater on your mortgage.'

"You've got termites."

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

'I know what you're thinking, honey, it's out of our price range but, wait till you see the size of the mailman's leg on this route!'

Nest building

Oh, one door closes, another opens -- How have you been?

'Phase Two : More of the same'

"I'm so much more relaxed now that I got a reverse mortgage."

"Tia Carmen, is this our house or is it our home?"

Changing house name.

"Homeowner please help."

'Well! Another near miss! Remind me not to listen to you next time you say it's okay to move in downstairs from a young family and that's not the reason the place was so cheap!'

'Cosy little kitchen, isn't it?'

'The Pentagon has ruled, Sargeant, since the barracks is your home,you can keep a dog, or a cat, but not both.'

"By offering your home as security, you are giving the lender a legal claim to your property."

"Did you not hear me when I said I wanted a colonial?"

I don't care if they are a protected species, Henry, I'm calling the exterminator!!

"Welcome to your new home, Dad."

"It's true that the basement's flooded, but it's stocked."

"Murray, I need you to push a little harder on my home sale. I'm starting to get a little under water on my mortgage."

'Are you thinking of selling your bijou residence?'

'I like child bearing HIPS!'

"It says our homeowners insurance policy is subject to the following forms and endorsements..."