Home Sweet Homer Gifts

'No, I've not been re-arranging the furniture again, you and your wife moved last week!'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

Indoor Football

Home Foreclosed Home.

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

'I know what you're thinking, honey, it's out of our price range but, wait till you see the size of the mailman's leg on this route!'

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

Nest building

'Phase Two : More of the same'

"Tia Carmen, is this our house or is it our home?"

Changing house name.

"I'm so much more relaxed now that I got a reverse mortgage."

"A little high and inside."

'Cosy little kitchen, isn't it?'

"Homeowner please help."

'Well! Another near miss! Remind me not to listen to you next time you say it's okay to move in downstairs from a young family and that's not the reason the place was so cheap!'

'The Pentagon has ruled, Sargeant, since the barracks is your home,you can keep a dog, or a cat, but not both.'

'Congratulations, Hightower. You now lead the league in untainted urine samples.'

I don't care if they are a protected species, Henry, I'm calling the exterminator!!

'Are you thinking of selling your bijou residence?'

'I like child bearing HIPS!'

"Man, he pulled that one out of thin air!"