Home Sweet Homer Pillows

'No, I've not been re-arranging the furniture again, you and your wife moved last week!'

'Wow! That was some world series, Ella! Both Pujols and Holland were just amazing...'

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

"Well, we're down to bare brick, natural wood, and raw nerves."

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

Indoor Football

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

Home Foreclosed Home.

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

And the crowd goes wild—except for Mary, because she wasn't paying attention.

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

'I know what you're thinking, honey, it's out of our price range but, wait till you see the size of the mailman's leg on this route!'

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

Oh, one door closes, another opens -- How have you been?

Many people suspect that the players aren't the only ones on steroids.

Nest building

'Phase Two : More of the same'

"Tia Carmen, is this our house or is it our home?"

Changing house name.

"I'm so much more relaxed now that I got a reverse mortgage."

'Cosy little kitchen, isn't it?'

"A little high and inside."

'The Pentagon has ruled, Sargeant, since the barracks is your home,you can keep a dog, or a cat, but not both.'

'Well! Another near miss! Remind me not to listen to you next time you say it's okay to move in downstairs from a young family and that's not the reason the place was so cheap!'

'Congratulations, Hightower. You now lead the league in untainted urine samples.'

"Homeowner please help."

"Did you not hear me when I said I wanted a colonial?"

I don't care if they are a protected species, Henry, I'm calling the exterminator!!

'Are you thinking of selling your bijou residence?'

Robot League Baseball. The player upgrades are great this year! New batteries and antennas will increase our home runs and decrease strike outs. They'll hit with more power, yet still make consistent contact! A software patch will cut down on errors. And the catcher's signs are encrypted now so they won't get stolen. Even with all that stuff, the most important upgrade is organic, grown in a biology lab! Yeah, every member of the pitching staff has a live arm!

'I like child bearing HIPS!'