Home Sweet Homeowner Pillows

The Horn Of Extra Square Footage

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"Careful. That house has a taser."

On Valentine's Day, sometimes you don't need cards, candy or flowers from the ones who love you.

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

Home Foreclosed Home.

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

"You've got termites."

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

'I know what you're thinking, honey, it's out of our price range but, wait till you see the size of the mailman's leg on this route!'

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

Nest building

'Phase Two : More of the same'

"Tia Carmen, is this our house or is it our home?"

Changing house name.

"I'm so much more relaxed now that I got a reverse mortgage."

"Homeowner please help."

'Cosy little kitchen, isn't it?'

'The Pentagon has ruled, Sargeant, since the barracks is your home,you can keep a dog, or a cat, but not both.'

'Well! Another near miss! Remind me not to listen to you next time you say it's okay to move in downstairs from a young family and that's not the reason the place was so cheap!'

I don't care if they are a protected species, Henry, I'm calling the exterminator!!

"Murray, I need you to push a little harder on my home sale. I'm starting to get a little under water on my mortgage."

'Are you thinking of selling your bijou residence?'

'I like child bearing HIPS!'

"It says our homeowners insurance policy is subject to the following forms and endorsements..."

New house smell.

'Well I think everything is in order. Congratulations on your new home!'