Home Sweet Home Appreciator Pillows

'How nice in this age of rampant hypocrisy, false promises and hollow platitudes to find something that means exactly what it says.'

Let's get organized

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

Baby car seat for a Native American.

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

'I know what you're thinking, honey, it's out of our price range but, wait till you see the size of the mailman's leg on this route!'

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

Nest building

Trilby - 'For Gecko'.

'Phase Two : More of the same'

"Hey, what can I say? It's not Baltimore, but then what is?"

"I'm so much more relaxed now that I got a reverse mortgage."

Changing house name.

"Tia Carmen, is this our house or is it our home?"

Great Urban Sprawl

'The Pentagon has ruled, Sargeant, since the barracks is your home,you can keep a dog, or a cat, but not both.'

'Cosy little kitchen, isn't it?'

"Homeowner please help."

'Well! Another near miss! Remind me not to listen to you next time you say it's okay to move in downstairs from a young family and that's not the reason the place was so cheap!'

Home is where you hang the lights.

I don't care if they are a protected species, Henry, I'm calling the exterminator!!

"Murray, I need you to push a little harder on my home sale. I'm starting to get a little under water on my mortgage."

"It says our homeowners insurance policy is subject to the following forms and endorsements..."

New house smell.

Miniature removal van in miniature village

'Well I think everything is in order. Congratulations on your new home!'

'Oh, that reminds me...any word from the bank on our application for a mortgage re-fi?'