Home Sweet Home Appreciator Gifts

'How nice in this age of rampant hypocrisy, false promises and hollow platitudes to find something that means exactly what it says.'

Let's get organized

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

Baby car seat for a Native American.

'I know what you're thinking, honey, it's out of our price range but, wait till you see the size of the mailman's leg on this route!'

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

Oh, one door closes, another opens -- How have you been?

Trilby - 'For Gecko'.

Nest building

'Phase Two : More of the same'

"Hey, what can I say? It's not Baltimore, but then what is?"

"Tia Carmen, is this our house or is it our home?"

"I'm so much more relaxed now that I got a reverse mortgage."

Changing house name.

'Cosy little kitchen, isn't it?'

Great Urban Sprawl

'The Pentagon has ruled, Sargeant, since the barracks is your home,you can keep a dog, or a cat, but not both.'

'Well! Another near miss! Remind me not to listen to you next time you say it's okay to move in downstairs from a young family and that's not the reason the place was so cheap!'

"Homeowner please help."

Home is where you hang the lights.

"Did you not hear me when I said I wanted a colonial?"

I don't care if they are a protected species, Henry, I'm calling the exterminator!!

"Welcome to your new home, Dad."

"Murray, I need you to push a little harder on my home sale. I'm starting to get a little under water on my mortgage."

"At the 2008 Olympics, Henry Cejudo became the youngest American to win a wrestling gold medal. His mother taught him that desire can trump despair. And then she taught him how to escape her chicken-wing armlock."

"It says our homeowners insurance policy is subject to the following forms and endorsements..."

New house smell.

'Well I think everything is in order. Congratulations on your new home!'

'Oh, that reminds me...any word from the bank on our application for a mortgage re-fi?'

Miniature removal van in miniature village