Home Appreciation Gifts

"Hey, what can I say? It's not Baltimore, but then what is?"

Let's get organized

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

'I think I've finally found a fixer-upper in your price range.'

'Of course I'd never fire you, Nelson. You've been working here for such a long time, you've become part of the furmiture!'

"Says he's one of the MacMartian Clan."

Living together, couple in love.

Authentic Rinkelmier chair (Built 1723)

Great Urban Sprawl

"Nice, but it's still a fish bowl. We'd like something with a little more privacy."

Home is where you hang the lights.

'He's still got his looks - good job I've got used to them.'

"Murray, I need you to push a little harder on my home sale. I'm starting to get a little under water on my mortgage."

For Sale Not for sale.

"This is Jerry. His family used to own my family."

A Misdelivered Letter

Miniature removal van in miniature village

'As you can see, this charming old property has been lovingly restored to its original condition of no electricity, and an outside loo.'

'Sir, I feel I'd achieve more if I had a chair.'

Man sat on egg-timer toilet

'How nice in this age of rampant hypocrisy, false promises and hollow platitudes to find something that means exactly what it says.'

"Sorry, Johnson, you've been down sized."

Negative Equity Meter.

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

"Things are opening up...and just when I was beginning to really embrace my boredom. "

"My paw's getting tired. Is your paw getting tired?"

"It's a prototype for the thousands of new homes we're building."

'And this is the walk-in fireplace... I'd be careful with that.'

The Hibernation Channel

'Flower'

"...and I'm sure you've already noticed how deep the carpet pile is!"

Baldo's Life is Sweet Moment: Not getting the last serving of your tia's lengua casserole.

Woman cleaning floor while man puts his feet up