Home Appreciation Gifts

"Hey, what can I say? It's not Baltimore, but then what is?"

Let's get organized

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

'I think I've finally found a fixer-upper in your price range.'

'Of course I'd never fire you, Nelson. You've been working here for such a long time, you've become part of the furmiture!'

Living together, couple in love.

"Says he's one of the MacMartian Clan."

Authentic Rinkelmier chair (Built 1723)

Great Urban Sprawl

"Nice, but it's still a fish bowl. We'd like something with a little more privacy."

Home is where you hang the lights.

'He's still got his looks - good job I've got used to them.'

"This is Jerry. His family used to own my family."

"This is not what I meant when I said you should try to live in the present."

"Murray, I need you to push a little harder on my home sale. I'm starting to get a little under water on my mortgage."

A Misdelivered Letter

For Sale Not for sale.

Miniature removal van in miniature village

Man sat on egg-timer toilet

'Sir, I feel I'd achieve more if I had a chair.'

'As you can see, this charming old property has been lovingly restored to its original condition of no electricity, and an outside loo.'

'How nice in this age of rampant hypocrisy, false promises and hollow platitudes to find something that means exactly what it says.'

'And THIS is our top seller! It's a couch that looks like potatoes for couch potatoes!'

Negative Equity Meter.

"Sorry, Johnson, you've been down sized."

"My paw's getting tired. Is your paw getting tired?"

"It's a prototype for the thousands of new homes we're building."

"Things are opening up...and just when I was beginning to really embrace my boredom. "

"Oh it's not haunted, it's just really old and nothing works."

'And this is the walk-in fireplace... I'd be careful with that.'

The Hibernation Channel

'Flower'

"...and I'm sure you've already noticed how deep the carpet pile is!"

Woman cleaning floor while man puts his feet up