Home Sweet Home Aficionado Gifts

Now that the kids have moved out, maybe it's time to downsize.

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

Cat statues on entrance gate

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

Home Foreclosed Home.

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

"This one will go with everything,

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

Flower lamp.

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

'I know what you're thinking, honey, it's out of our price range but, wait till you see the size of the mailman's leg on this route!'

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

Fireplace Projector.

Nest building

Decorators at Home

'That's what I call a boomerang sale. His wife takes one look and back it comes.'

"You idiot! It's all bare walls and Ikea these days."

'- and this is the drawing room..'

'Brew?'

'Phase Two : More of the same'

"I'm so much more relaxed now that I got a reverse mortgage."

"Tia Carmen, is this our house or is it our home?"

Changing house name.

'We can't get enough of these makeover shows.'

"Homeowner please help."