Home Sweet Home Aficionado Pillows

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

Cat statues on entrance gate

I'm beginning to regret buying that Roomba.

"Except for that wall socket, the whole damn thing is a trompe-l'oeil."

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

'There are two color schemes: dark ones that attract light dirt, and light ones that attract dark dirt.'

Home Foreclosed Home.

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

Flower lamp.

"This one will go with everything,

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

"But everything seems so neat and orderly we'd never guess that your lives are falling apart."

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

Fireplace Projector.

'I know what you're thinking, honey, it's out of our price range but, wait till you see the size of the mailman's leg on this route!'

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

Nest building

'Brew?'

Decorators at Home

"You idiot! It's all bare walls and Ikea these days."

'- and this is the drawing room..'

'That's what I call a boomerang sale. His wife takes one look and back it comes.'

'Phase Two : More of the same'

Changing house name.

"Tia Carmen, is this our house or is it our home?"

"I'm so much more relaxed now that I got a reverse mortgage."

"Homeowner please help."

'We can't get enough of these makeover shows.'

"I love what you've done with this corner of the room!"