Sweet Home Enthusiast Pillows

"The roof was just re-frosted last year. And did I mention custom peppermint windows?"

"Forget about flowers, trust me, bring her honey: It's a sure way to one's heart..."

Newfangled contraceptions phobia: 'David, David, we're sinking! Our water bed has sprung a leak!'

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

Home Foreclosed Home.

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

"You've got termites."

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

'I know what you're thinking, honey, it's out of our price range but, wait till you see the size of the mailman's leg on this route!'

Fireplace Projector.

"Yes, I appreciate that it's a converted fire station. But I still think I'd prefer stairs."

Nest building

'Brew?'

'Phase Two : More of the same'

Changing house name.

"I'm so much more relaxed now that I got a reverse mortgage."

"Tia Carmen, is this our house or is it our home?"

You're in violation of several bylaws, ma'am: Too many peppermint sticks, gingerbread shingles, sugar pollution of storm sewers - And with all the kids we've seen go in there, your occupancy clearly exceeds ordinances.

'The Pentagon has ruled, Sargeant, since the barracks is your home,you can keep a dog, or a cat, but not both.'

"Homeowner please help."

'Cosy little kitchen, isn't it?'

"Careful in the bathroom—we just had it reimagined."

'Did you mess with the thermostat again?'

I don't care if they are a protected species, Henry, I'm calling the exterminator!!

Repossessed Properties.

An Englishman's home is his sand castle.

'Are you thinking of selling your bijou residence?'