Cozy Home Appreciator Pillows

Home is where you hang the lights.

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

"Oh, I'm fine. I just had to take a personal day to recharge my batteries."

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

The Big Tree

Fireplace Projector.

Mouse showing wife the heart shaped mouse he has made

'Brew?'

Sparklers

"Well, as usual, I'm toasty. . ."

"Hey, what can I say? It's not Baltimore, but then what is?"

Great Urban Sprawl

Homes of the font designers

"Me: I never get invited to anything Also me: Sorry, I'm so tired, think I'll stay in."

Satan in the fireplace

'Did you mess with the thermostat again?'

Introducing...The Creeping Draft

Thanks for house sitting!

Miniature removal van in miniature village

Man sat on egg-timer toilet

"Have you seen our new head office?"

My gran likes the crossword.

'As you can see, this charming old property has been lovingly restored to its original condition of no electricity, and an outside loo.'

'How nice in this age of rampant hypocrisy, false promises and hollow platitudes to find something that means exactly what it says.'

'Have you seen my hot water bottle?'

'Whew!'

Lawnmower Spotting Couple

"It's a prototype for the thousands of new homes we're building."

"Patti, come here! Amazon doesn't have 'drunk shopping' as an option for return reasons!!"

Christmas Knocker

"My paw's getting tired. Is your paw getting tired?"

The Hibernation Channel

This certificate entitles you to one year's worth of heating for your bedroom, love, Santa.

'He came with the house.'