Cozy Home Appreciator Pillows

Home is where you hang the lights.

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

"Oh, I'm fine. I just had to take a personal day to recharge my batteries."

"To keep warm in winter you're looking at a new central heating system costing £20,000."

Ever wonder why we debated what color fridge to buy?

The Big Tree

Fireplace Projector.

Sparklers

'Brew?'

"Well, as usual, I'm toasty. . ."

Mouse showing wife the heart shaped mouse he has made

"Hey, what can I say? It's not Baltimore, but then what is?"

Great Urban Sprawl

"Me: I never get invited to anything Also me: Sorry, I'm so tired, think I'll stay in."

Satan in the fireplace

Homes of the font designers

'Did you mess with the thermostat again?'

Introducing...The Creeping Draft

'Our house is directly in the migratory path of Canada geese, so we keep the windows open until mid-November.'

Thanks for house sitting!

Miniature removal van in miniature village

Man sat on egg-timer toilet

"Have you seen our new head office?"

'As you can see, this charming old property has been lovingly restored to its original condition of no electricity, and an outside loo.'

My gran likes the crossword.

'How nice in this age of rampant hypocrisy, false promises and hollow platitudes to find something that means exactly what it says.'

'Have you seen my hot water bottle?'

'Whew!'

Lawnmower Spotting Couple

"It's a prototype for the thousands of new homes we're building."

"My paw's getting tired. Is your paw getting tired?"

"Patti, come here! Amazon doesn't have 'drunk shopping' as an option for return reasons!!"

Christmas Knocker

The Hibernation Channel

This certificate entitles you to one year's worth of heating for your bedroom, love, Santa.