Home Safety Fanatic Gifts

Security.

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

'Throw it out. . . we never use it, unless you can think of someone that might need it.'

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

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"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

'Your father installed a security system.'

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

Santa hosing the Chimney.

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

"I just installed a home security monitor."

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

"My dad put in a new security system."

"Let's pick up our cars now, 'kay Puddin'?"

"Maybe this is insignificant, what with everything going on in the world, but do we have a fire extinguisher?"

'New normal' family life

'I know the fire's in the kitchen, but that program just irks the hell out of me.'

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

'Nice to have a door opener.'

'Well those stair gates were a complete waste of money'

'I lost him in the house, but don't worry, a snake that big should be easy to find.'

'Is your house baby-proofed?'

"They're only dummy home security signs, but I've sharped the edges so they'll cut you like a razor."

'I told you he was smart. He turned a potential hazard into a plaything.'

'He's always on the heightened alert!'

"Honey, your radon testing kit is here."

"Did we turn off the stove?"