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"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'Your father installed a security system.'

'Throw it out. . . we never use it, unless you can think of someone that might need it.'

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"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

"Okay, what's your next, more expensive security system?"

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

Santa hosing the Chimney.

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

"I just installed a home security monitor."

Smokey Bear crying because of deliberately started forest fires

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

'I know the fire's in the kitchen, but that program just irks the hell out of me.'

"Let's pick up our cars now, 'kay Puddin'?"

"My dad put in a new security system."

'New normal' family life

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

"Maybe this is insignificant, what with everything going on in the world, but do we have a fire extinguisher?"

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'Nice to have a door opener.'

'Well those stair gates were a complete waste of money'

"They're only dummy home security signs, but I've sharped the edges so they'll cut you like a razor."

'I'm taking a poll. Do you feel safe in your own home?'

'I told you he was smart. He turned a potential hazard into a plaything.'

'He's always on the heightened alert!'

'I lost him in the house, but don't worry, a snake that big should be easy to find.'