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"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

"Wait a sec, I have a coupon around here somewhere."

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"Since we installed the video surveillance system we're losing fewer socks."

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

'Your father installed a security system.'

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"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

"We've completely child-proofed our home."

'Throw it out. . . we never use it, unless you can think of someone that might need it.'

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

Santa hosing the Chimney.

"I just installed a home security monitor."

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

Smokey Bear crying because of deliberately started forest fires

'It even has its own built-in home security system!'

'I know the fire's in the kitchen, but that program just irks the hell out of me.'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

'New normal' family life

"My dad put in a new security system."

"Maybe this is insignificant, what with everything going on in the world, but do we have a fire extinguisher?"

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

"My home insurance has dropped since I had it installed."

'Nice to have a door opener.'

'He's always on the heightened alert!'

'Well those stair gates were a complete waste of money'

'Is your house baby-proofed?'

'I told you he was smart. He turned a potential hazard into a plaything.'

'I lost him in the house, but don't worry, a snake that big should be easy to find.'

'I'm taking a poll. Do you feel safe in your own home?'

Beware the Dog