Home Life Comic Gifts

'How many times do I have to tell you about putting the toilet seat back up?'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

Hungry child

"Man's best friends."

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

Self-Isolating. Do Not Disturb (Except For Food).

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

"Attention, everyone! Here comes Poppa, and we're going to drive dull care away! It's quips and cranks and wanton wiles, nods and becks and wreathed smiles."

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"My dang neck is killin' me again." "That's because you left your dang hanger in your coat. Again."

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

'You know I'd take the blame kid, but I'm still on shakey ground over that carpet incident.'