Home Life Comic Gifts

'How many times do I have to tell you about putting the toilet seat back up?'

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

Hungry child

"Man's best friends."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

Self-Isolating. Do Not Disturb (Except For Food).

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

"Attention, everyone! Here comes Poppa, and we're going to drive dull care away! It's quips and cranks and wanton wiles, nods and becks and wreathed smiles."

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

"My dang neck is killin' me again." "That's because you left your dang hanger in your coat. Again."

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

Comb Sweet Comb

'You know I'd take the blame kid, but I'm still on shakey ground over that carpet incident.'