Domestic Life Humor Gifts

"Iron Man! Thank heaven you’ve come!"

New wicket keeping gloves ?

"Guess what - I got tired of the bonsai tree!"

"I must come to the supermarket with you sometime dear, they seem to sell everything!"

'That must be some mouse! Hang on while I get my shotgun.'

"No - you put the cat out."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"The couch hates me Jane!"

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

"Mulch madness"

"But I use all of them!"

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

'She just came down the stairs without walking.'

"They're clean Mum, I washed them yesterday."

'All I want for Christmas is my old shape back again.'

"You're good mum. But, Billy's mum is a better cook than you. She only knows how to make chocolate cake."

'How many times do I have to tell you about putting the toilet seat back up?'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

'I thought you said, 'What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom'!'

'You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!'

'I'm really thirsty.'

How it started: How it's going

"I'm getting awfully tired of raking up you underwear..."

"Mom said I can't watch TV until you finish my homework."

CartoonStock Upload

Clown has hit wife with custard pie. Marriage guidance counsellor says: 'Does he end every argument like this?'

"Quit with that racket - you're scaring the fish."

'George, I can't sleep with a window shade flapping! Get up and fix it!'

"Dinner will be ready soon, I hear the pizza truck rounding the corner."

"Can I turn off the game and set the table? Ha, ha! Oh, honey, you are hilarious!"

"For God's sake! Let the man have his simple pleasures."

"Now batting, No. 2, Derek Jeter—No. 2. Happy now, nut job?"