Home Life Gifts

"I tried working at home, but my wife didn't like me performing colonoscopies in the dining room."

"They're back! They're back! How do I look? Oh, never mind! Never mind!"

I only asked you to make a cup of tea, that doesn't need a risk assessment first...

'I'm not sure that this degree of competition is entirely healthy.'

"Sorry I'm late. I got caught up at home being happy."

'I know the younger generation are living at home longer these days, but you're not exactly the younger generation anymore son!'

Base camp for Ed and Janet Wilson's courageous attempt to scale Mt. Blended Family.

Bedtime Real Estate Distribution (for dog owners)

'What about you...you've been living here thirty years too?'

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

Punchline: Another weekend ruined by an unexpected houseguest.

'I don't take telemarketing calls during dinner time. Can I call you back during your dinner time?'

'It's disgraceful the way they build houses so close together!'

"Remember when we thought the pandemic was only going to last a couple of weeks."

Blanket Pull

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

"You don't understand, Mom. Our staying in and watching TV is not the same as you and Dad staying home and watching TV in Dayton, Ohio."

"Oh, great. Humble Beginnings."

"Know what we need? We need a house wine."

The Smiley Face at home.

'With the kids back home and unemployed, it's hard to believe I ever suffered from empty nest syndrome.'

'Don't you think you're spoiling Tiddles?'

'Let's just see how long they can stay crouched behind the sofa.'

Dog thumping tail on floor, man below thumping ceiling with broom.

Making new friends in the age of self-isolation

"I guess I really was spending too much money on lattes."

"Sorry, I can't make it tonight - I have too good a parking sport."

'Making a To-Do List is on my Bucket List.'

"My comfort food upset me."

"Damn, Toto! We're back in Kansas!"

'Someone told him life begins at forty. Now he's reserving his energies!'

"She leaves wooden-handled knives soaking in the dishwater all night long. Your Honor."

'I do some light mousework for them in return for room and board.'

'Mr. Harrison won't be coming into the office today.'

Cocooning: "I still don't understand what's so cosy about it."