Home Lifestyle Gifts

'Yes, it's a six hour commute, but where else could we have this standard of living?'

King and Queen in Bathrobes

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Dog Walking Services

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Low-Energy Drinks

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

Cat in a flap

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

Self-Isolating. Do Not Disturb (Except For Food).

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

"Do you want to be vaguely dissatisfied with Italian or Korean?"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

Meanwhile in Hollywood

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"I shop, therefore I am."

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'