Lifestyle Gifts

'No, Father, they're not praying. They're texting.'

'You know you're 40 when...'

'I'm giving up all of my good habits. They're easier to stop doing than bad habits.'

Pants...Before & After

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

"I sleep poorly anyway, so you might as well put me in high-risk investments."

I can't believe I ate all that kale for nothing.

Trust

Low-Energy Drinks

Life begins at 60

'Cut back on the women and song. You can still have the wine though.'

Life In The fast Lane: '24 hours without food is a long, long time...'

'Happiness is place between too little and too much.'

"I live for the moment. That moment just happens to be in the indefinite future."

Does it spark joy?

"Why didn't you tell me before you were a strict vegetarian?"

I'm having difficulty finding balance between work and ... what is that other thing?'

"I got my wife a book on decluttering and the first thing to go was me."

Cat in a flap

'I think my diet is finally working. went form a large to an extra medium.'

'These lifestyle programmes aren't as relaxing as they used to be.'

'I'm very active. I'm always jumping to conclusions, stretching the truth, skipping lunch, and jogging my memory. With all that jumping, stretching, skipping and jogging, I still can't lose weight.'

Over the years, Sid had refined travel on the path of least resistance to a fine art.

Exercise vs Laxative.

Obesity: Mechanical & Biological.

"I'm giving up giving up!"

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

"I'm a stay-at-home mom without kids."

"I'm just waiting to become fashionable again"

Wine and Stripes

I decided to simplify my life!

Ryan Beardsley is a deadbeat. Why are you stuck on him? I'm not stuck. He leads the good life by sponging off the raise and avoiding work. I didn't know that! How cools that he's a man of leisure!

We believe taking the fast lane on the highway of life just gets you to the exit ramp sooner.

Ponce de Leon discovers the fountain of couth.

"How about knocking off the air quotes when you tell me how many drinks you have per day."