Lifestyle Lover Gifts

"My veganism is no more annoying than your ecofascism."

"If you look closely, you can see Uncle Jack selfishly living his awesome single life."

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Sometimes he just stood back and admired the breathtaking scenery of his life.

"It's days like this that make me long for days like this."

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

'I play so hard that I have no time to work hard.'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

Low-Energy Drinks

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"I can't wait for vacation - I'm going to go sun myself in a south-facing window."

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

Cat in a flap

"When you've lost fifteen pounds...that's when the refrigerator gets returned!"

"What do you mean 'sitting is the new smoking'? I thought fat was the new smoking?"

Meanwhile in Hollywood

"He took eight shots on the 19th hole!"

"What's he doing? A nap in the middle of a work day? Oh, I like this..."

Cat Panels. Cats soak up sun on rooftop like solar panels.

Diver sees old lady in motorized bubble.

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

"I just reached 1000 jumps."

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

Problem Solving

"I'm thinking of starting my own range of 'inactive' wear."

"Well Earned Vacation"

"I'm prescribing a mild sedative. Go wine shopping and get yourself a nice Chablis."

Trust

"I tried the C25k but prefer the 5k2C"

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

Table tennis.

"You cheap shit! Why can't we have a designer divorce?"

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'