Domestic Life Gifts

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

"I'm sorry I used three squirts of washing up liquid instead of two."

"I'm going away for the weekend. Would you mind feeding my husband?"

"It's the dog."

'Matrimonial Harmonics'

"I'm sorry Bob. After you disappeared, I made a new life with Fred."

'I said you wash and I'll dry!'

"Oh, sure, I remember him. He was quiet, mostly kept to himself, paid the rent on time. You know, we were only married for sixteen years."

'We've decided to forgive you.'

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

"Do you know how distracting it is when you spin the chamber on that revolver?"

'How many times do I have to tell you... The T.V. is broken!'

Lady to caveman: 'Watch your step - I just waxed the stalagmites.'

'Your copy of 'Bitter Housewife Monthly' arrived.'

"When you say "Someone doesn't know how to put a paper towel over a bowl of chili to re-heat in the nuker", I know you mean me."

'The 'man of the house' is out getting her hair done.'

"Got a deer."

"You can't expect me to be dependable all the time!"

'Well, dear, I did tell you to stay out of my way when I'm vacuuming!'

'This is a bag of my washing for you to get started on.'

These colours haven't just run. They've sprinted!

'Let's not let some silly carpet come between us being best friends, Carl...'

Dating Agency: "I am looking for a man whose hobbies are, washing up, dusting and ironing."

'Ronald!! You're home early - uh, this isn't what it looks like!'

Sex Equality

"All I said was, 'I'll take out the garbage when I'm ready'."

Mom's Diner: I do and do and do for you and what thanks do I get? How about your business? Is that too much to ask?

"The dishes are done. You can come out now."

'Fold those trousers properly...'

Hi honey, I'm hone. Yes dear, I know. You're retired.

"When I first met Howard, he had a touch of class. As it turns out, it was just a touch."

'Good Morning!'

'It was a symbiotic relationship, one that had evolved over thousands and thousands of days'

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

'Get out of bed. It's nearly eleven.' - 'No, go away.' - 'Get out of bed or else!' - '...or else what?' - '...or else I turn your coat hangers the wrong way around.' - 'Okay! Wait! Wait! I'm up!'