Domestic Life Fan Gifts

Viking sitting patiently while his wife winds her wool on his helmets horns to sort it out.

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

Hungry child

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"Man's best friends."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

"My dang neck is killin' me again." "That's because you left your dang hanger in your coat. Again."

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Always Compatible

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

“Can I have her now? Hey! My turn.”

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

'Actually, she's turned out to be a very clever pet. Watch when Rex stands up, she'll feed him a biscuit.'

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

"Do I have to go out again!?"

"Think about the honey."

George Washington's sister was always getting him into trouble.

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"But I use all of them!"

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

"Harold! Don't forget to get the eggs!"

"You forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. It's written all over your face."