Domestic Life Theorist Gifts

"And did we manage to jump start the economy today, Honey?"

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

Hungry child

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"Man's best friends."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"Do you recall the exact moment the balance of power shifted?"

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"Want me to talk to the squirrel's mother, or would you prefer to handle it on your own?"

'When you asked me over for a home-cooked meal, I assumed you'd be making it.'

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

"My dang neck is killin' me again." "That's because you left your dang hanger in your coat. Again."

Always Compatible

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

“Can I have her now? Hey! My turn.”

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

'Actually, she's turned out to be a very clever pet. Watch when Rex stands up, she'll feed him a biscuit.'

'Honey, I'm home - for good.'

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

Viking sitting patiently while his wife winds her wool on his helmets horns to sort it out.

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

"Think about the honey."

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

"Do I have to go out again!?"

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

"But I use all of them!"

"Oh, how I wish the season would start!"

"You think you hate me now, but just wait until I'm old and a burden to you."

"Harold! Don't forget to get the eggs!"

"You forgot to pick up the dry cleaning. It's written all over your face."