Home Improvement Joker Pillows

"Now where's that idiot hiding? He was supposed to fix the door."

Jack of all trades

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

'I found the termites!'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

I did it my way.

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

"It's just temporary, until I fix the air conditioner."

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

"So, how's the money pit in the kitchen coming?"

"Next time don't use a herbed vinegar."

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"Mulch madness"

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

Dummies Books.

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

'I'm so excited to be remodeling the bathroom'

"You'll have to excuse my Stuart. He's just showing off his new drill.

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

"It's a lot of work, but we've decided to renovate this old factory."

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

House for sale - some assembly required.

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

Artex cartoon

Pete's new smart hammer adds insult to injury.

'Apart from his awful workmanship, my hubby's handy work is fine.'

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'