Home Furnishing Gifts

'Oooh the Timpsons have got new blinds.' (Blinds read 'Sod off you nosy cow).

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

'I miss my water bed.'

'Pillow too soft?'

"It's just now starting to get comfortable. Why would I want to buy a new chair?"

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"Ironically, this is the living room."

'We had the baby's ultrasound photo made into wallpaper.'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

Interior design trends for parents....

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"I thought we agreed you weren't going to work at home."

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Second hand furniture.

Use your imagination.

"Home depot."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

'I love my new easylife artist's easel.'

'Sure, a drawing on Facebook has coverage, but nothing wows the family like a spread on the fridge.'

Cat Towels

Children's artwork exhibition.

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

'He does lack social skills.'