Furniture Gifts

"And what do you think will happen if you do get on the couch?"

"This new adjustable mattress really does stop your snoring!"

"..and to my cat, Wilhelm, I leave my wifes best couch."

'Oh no, it's the vikings! And they've brought their bloody self-assembly furniture with them!'

Termite pick-up lines.

"She says she's from Quality Control. We've failed the furniture inspection."

Ye Haul.

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

"All in favor of the old, uncomfortable chairs?"

'We're fully prepared for any relocation plans.'

'...But enough about me, what do you do for a living?'

"Would our big tacky objects look good here?"

'This is our latest in coffee table designs...'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

'Why do we bother with these board meetings? Nothing ever gets done.'

'It's made out of solid wood and it sleeps eight.'

'I told you it wouldn't fit through the door!'

"Do you have anything with more back support?"

'We must cut production because we've run out of warehouse space'. (at Swedish Furniture Co.)

A Sudden Transfer To The Tokyo Office

'That easy chair used to be harder.'

'It's not my childhood memories that are painful... it's this spring in your couch!'

"Why did we wait to get recliners?"

'You're making me nervous, stop rocking!'

The Ottoman Empire

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

Caveman invents the wheel and uses it as a table.

'Good. The new chairs for our staff canteen.'

'It's perfect!'

'What, They're comfortable.'

'No, they don't sell furniture, it's the local sunbed salon.'

Vibes: Good/Badl

"It may not be resplendent, Your Highness, but it's totally ergonomic."

Man about lady in rocking chair with roll bars: 'Never too old to rock and roll.'

"Finally!"