Furniture Gifts

"And what do you think will happen if you do get on the couch?"

'Oh no, it's the vikings! And they've brought their bloody self-assembly furniture with them!'

'No, I don't think you're a mental case, Mrs Clydehopper. Then again, this is a furniture store, and I'm a salesman...'

"This new adjustable mattress really does stop your snoring!"

"..and to my cat, Wilhelm, I leave my wifes best couch."

"She says she's from Quality Control. We've failed the furniture inspection."

Ye Haul.

Termite pick-up lines.

'We're fully prepared for any relocation plans.'

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

"All in favor of the old, uncomfortable chairs?"

'I told you it wouldn't fit through the door!'

'It's made out of solid wood and it sleeps eight.'

'This is our latest in coffee table designs...'

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

'We must cut production because we've run out of warehouse space'. (at Swedish Furniture Co.)

A Sudden Transfer To The Tokyo Office

'...But enough about me, what do you do for a living?'

'Oh, for heaven's sake! We had him declawed, but he's still destroying furniture as much as ever!'

"Would our big tacky objects look good here?"

"Do you have anything with more back support?"

'Why do we bother with these board meetings? Nothing ever gets done.'

'That easy chair used to be harder.'

'I like modern. It never goes out of style.'

"Attention, everyone! I'd like to introduce the newest member of our family."

The Ottoman Empire

'No, they don't sell furniture, it's the local sunbed salon.'

'You're making me nervous, stop rocking!'

'What, They're comfortable.'

'It's perfect!'

'It's not my childhood memories that are painful... it's this spring in your couch!'

"Why did we wait to get recliners?"

Caveman invents the wheel and uses it as a table.

'Good. The new chairs for our staff canteen.'

'Decorating on a shoestring'