Getting New Home Furnishings Gifts

'Oooh the Timpsons have got new blinds.' (Blinds read 'Sod off you nosy cow).

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

Fittd shēt

The Lion, the witch and the flat-pack self-assembly wardrobe: lion and witch putting a wardrobe together.

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

Bird collecting furniture for it's home.

Leda knew it was serious when the visited Ikea together.

"All your throw pillows were in knots."

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

Man and woman buying furniture.

'Are you sure you brought the right flat pack?'

"Well, do you want to buy this sofa or not? You've been on it for three days!"

"It's been unanimously decided that we don't like this table. Could you show us another model?"

George was a bit intimidated by his IKEA self-assembly wardrobe.

Den Furniture

"It's also a flat-bed scanner."

David wasn't sure about the idea of having denim curtains.

Fumes from furniture

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

'That's not what it looked like in the shop...' - 'It's near enough.'

Chair - Ready for Self Assembly.

DIY.

"It says it can be assembled by a 5 year old child - pop out and find me one..."

Bath Abbey

'Well, it WAS a pretty coffee table until Dave spilled coffee on it!'

"This one seems perfect, but do you have it in red?"

"Sir, there are no waitresses or menus — this is Crate & Barrel."

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'

"Hmmm. Not sure it will go with my wife."