Buying New Furniture Gifts

'How much money does it hold?'

"Finally!"

'Anything less co-dependent?'

"It's our best seller. Perfect for sitting idly by."

'We'll take it. Come along Rex.'

"It might be this Christmas, it might be next."

'Bigger than a chair, smaller than a love seat and very uncomfortable for two people to sit in.'

'We're moving to a higher tax bracket!'

'Plus, you get to keep any change you happen to find under the cushions.'

'I'll call you back, we just got in a load of furniture.'

'An occasional table... what is it the rest of the time?'

'Well, it WAS a pretty coffee table until Dave spilled coffee on it!'

'It's real leather, but it came from a steer with mad cow disease.'

The domino effect.

"There's no need to feel embarrassed, it happens to lots of men."

Fumes from furniture

"Oooh!... Leather! I'd love to shed on that!!"

"-psst! Wanna buy a hot water bed?"

Sylvia Dammi's Wing Chair

'I'm trying to imagine what it will look like with my potato on it.'

'Check out my new bed: Titanium frame, extra firm mattress...Should last for years...'

'This one's got a mahogany finish, easy to assemble and comes with a magical kingdom as standard.'

"All our furniture comes pre-shredded by our carefully selected in-house cats."

"Do you know what DFS stands for? Designed for Scratching."

'Now THAT'S what I call a love seat!'

'Do you have one with a cup holder?'

Maybe if we bought a super deluxe mattress, I'd sleep better. Do you really think spending $5,000 on a mattress makes a difference? Granted. Not in every case.

Furniture. I don't care what style. I just want a couch that matches her fur.

Twin Beds. Siamese Twin Beds.

"Yes, but I'll know it's a recliner."

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

The Lion, the witch and the flat-pack self-assembly wardrobe: lion and witch putting a wardrobe together.

Fittd shēt

'This one's good if you like to toss and turn all night.'