Furnishing Gifts

Coming home to an empty apartment made him realize just how much he needed stuff.

Santa checking out sleigh beds.

"I've been researching a little furniture company that I'd like to rearrange."

"Don't get the wrong idea, but I think I should tell you that all my furnishings are from Ikea."

'I tell you what, it's much more comfortable with a cushion...'

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

Interior design trends for parents....

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"This is a clever little shop. It makes you think it would be fun to own a lamp."

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

The Lion, the witch and the flat-pack self-assembly wardrobe: lion and witch putting a wardrobe together.

"The knights of the round accent table"

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

Fittd shēt

"Surprise!"

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"This new chair has the smoothest 360 swivel action on the market!"

'I had no idea Ikea had been around so long.'

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

"OK, last time: Cado teak lounge chair from Denmark – me. Doggy bed – you."

"Funny. My girlfriend said the same thing."

'Adam and Eve in the garden of Sweden'

'I'd like to match this credenza.'

The Venus Flytrap Leather Sectional

Lay-Z-Family Recliner

"Are you sure there wasn't a floor model?"

"If it's got my ass on it, it's befitting of royalty."

"I tell ya - if I ever stop moving, I'll die."