Home Distraction Dodger Gifts

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

Examinations.

'Quick, I'll give you a piggyback ride home, otherwise, we'll get in trouble for being late...'

'Now,they're going to teach you to talk, but remember, after you learn how.stay away from religion or politics.'

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

'9K a year!? It's an outrage! At my level of attendance that's 3K per lecture!'

"I tried working at home, but my wife didn't like me performing colonoscopies in the dining room."

'Making a To-Do List is on my Bucket List.'

Road Construction.

'Forget 'forsaking all others', you can have the week off' (housewife to husband).

Psychology: Module 1 . . . . Attention span.

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

"Are you listening to me?"

'We see a lot of carpal tunnel syndrome caused by repetitious pushing of the tv mute button during the political ad season.'

Washing Instructions: Have Your Mom Do It.

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

'Sneaks into house late at night' Venn Diagram

Desk plaque: 'Seize the nap.'

'Mr. big shot scientist who works 18 hours a day at a prestigious lab developing high strength corrosion inhibitors, but can I get him to spend 2 minutes getting rust stains out of our own tub? No.'

'Do you mind? I'm trying to read.'

Inner Sara Skips Out As Zoom Kicks In

'I'' be in the basement, Amy... below the radar.'

"So I'm thinking...why bother with all the junk mail?"

'Pemberly, I'd like to tweak you ignorance.'

'The poor lamb's having a rest, Mum, exhausted after putting a new toilet roll on the holder...'

"Of course I don't want you to retire, boss! I'd probably get your job!"

"I'm leaving early, before mission creep takes over."

"Now that the person chewing gum so loudly has finally stopped, perhaps we can all pay attention to what I'm doing here."

'Phone-b-gone, gets rid of unwanted phones.'

Man knocked out by doorframe leading into a basketball court.