Modern Distraction Dodger Gifts

Mobile Lure

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

Examinations.

'He's kind of a rescue dog. He points to where the hardest work is, so that I can run into the opposite direction!'

Private Viewing

Tell me the truth. Do you think my signature is logo-esque?

'For sheer elegance you can't beat the black hole entropy formula.'

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

Man trying to catch a saxophonist with butterfly wings.

'Three days, four different avoidance routines.'

"Baldo, I appreciate your hard work...and your eagerness to complete your chores quickly. But next time...don't blow the leaves while I'm painting."

"Isn't this so much better without our devices?"

'It's just a recliner with built-in heart rate monitor. But look at how many big inflatable balls are sold as exercise equipment.'

Road Construction.

"I don't get it. I hired him to workout for me every day, and I still haven't lost any weight."

'Let's just say, if you were meat, you'd be way past your 'best before' date!'

"Do you mind? Look what you made me do!"

Psychology: Module 1 . . . . Attention span.

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

"Are you listening to me?"

Pinocchio's autopsy - "Right about here he started cutting gym class."

Man ignores DIY book and instead reads book entitled: 'Get someone else to do it'.

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

Cowboy posting notices saying WANTED...FOR FLYPOSTING

Desk plaque: 'Seize the nap.'

"You say you have a medical malpractice case?"

'Do you mind? I'm trying to read.'

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

'Oh, Fred does exercise. He takes frequent walks to the refrigerator.'

How caffeine interacts with human brain cells.

"We also offer a plan where you just post pictures and skip the exercise."

'Is there any way I can keep on all this weight and still enter the Pro Football Hall of Fame?'