Home Defense Gifts

"Harry, I'm sorry. I forgot you stopped your night shift."

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

No Soliciting

dog vs UFO...

"The smart toaster is down, and it took our wifi, security cameras, and entertainment systems with it."

"My dream is to have a little house and a white picket fence wired with explosives."

'Best watchdog I ever had!'

'It's good to see that you have a smoke detector...'

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

"Not tonight, Jon. I have to clean for the cleaning lady."

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

"I forgot to turn on the alarm." "It's all right, Peedy is there."

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

"Why can't we just have a normal home security system like the neighbours."

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

"I like to think of myself as a vital link in the homeland-security system."

Adopt your wireless home security system today!

Whack-A-Chore: "You play it all day, every day, until you can't anymore."

'Your father installed a security system.'

'Throw it out. . . we never use it, unless you can think of someone that might need it.'

The bulb family leaves for vacation

"Nice job with the petunias, Skip. They're a perfect complement to the trip wires."

"Peter quickly learns the limitations of his new hamster ball."

"I think he's outgrown the baby gate."

'I can't understand how those burglars could clean out our house so quietly.'

'How long did you try before calling?'

"Tell Congress we need a super duper hypersonic missile."

Man carrying crates of eggs about to step on sleeping dog.

Santa hosing the Chimney.