Home Chef Survivor Gifts

"For twenty years he did nothing but criticize my cooking�"

Come dine with me!

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"You do like octopus?"

"I have no idea what, hic, went wrong. I did everything, hic, Mario Batali said."

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

Party time.

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"I thought we'd eat out on the patio for a change."

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

Roasted

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

Snow & Flo series: Questionable cooking.

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

"Was there a photo in the recipe book? I'd love to see what it's meant to look like."

'The kids are on a hunger strike, I'm on a diet, and you're on your own.'

'My hero!'

'Go on - they're organic!'

'... But, why do you want me to sign a "waiver of liability form"?'

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

"Happy thanksgiving!"

Scales

'We share the load - she cooks it, I eat it.'

Stay at home food pyramid

'Your dinner's in the microwave.'

Thanksgiving 2020

Mankind's earliest ancestor emerges from the primordial ooze, closely followed by a prehistoric species of re-sealable plastic containers.

'I hope it's okay -- the cookbook had some really confusing abbreviations.'

'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'

'Grandma makes everything from scratch! Why don't you ever buy any scratch?'

Recipes from Hillary's Kitchen