Home Chef Gifts

"I take it you didn't like my meatballs."

'Progress of a bookshelf'

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

'Think how funny this would all be on a TV sitcom.'

'I hope you all like stuffing.'

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

'I'm short of ingredients. What's a good substitute for filet mignon?'

"Happy thanksgiving!"

Gordon Ramsey's Dog.

'I need a house with more counter space!'

The multicultural family Thanksgiving...

'You're right, some of us 'gals' are pretty handy in the kitchen.'

Party time.

'I doubt you will have what I'm looking for, young man - an eye-level grill?'

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'I want to give them incentives to try my cooking, but I have to draw the line at medals for bravery.'

"He says there's a clause in the house insurance which stops him from cooking inside."

"It says the box contains all the ingredients needed for a delicious chicken dinner."

'Hurry up you guys! I'm about to serve dinner!'

'I always buy him the toughest, chewiest steak. It shuts him right up for half an hour.'

Mom's Cafe: 'Mom's answer to every ill is chicken soup, so dig in.'

'Dinner will be ready soon -- the submarine sandwiches are soaking now.'

'My Mum's the best cook. She makes a lasagne with spinach and broccoli and it tastes great!'

"We're tired of being stuck in the fridge! We want out!"

"Of course it's local food. I took it from our fridge."

'This isn't half bad, actually - more like four-fifths.'

'Your dinner's in the microwave.'

'This should guarantee our friends won't go to sleep watching videos of this trip.'

"Welcome to Mom's place. I'll be your waitress, dishwasher, and cook tonight..."

'I found this message in a bottle behind the sofa. It says, 'Help! Stranded on kitchen island.''

When it comes to cooking, new brides keep the home fires burning.

'It was the last straw when she threw her lumpy gravy over me!'

'We share the load - she cooks it, I eat it.'

Mankind's earliest ancestor emerges from the primordial ooze, closely followed by a prehistoric species of re-sealable plastic containers.

"Did you manage to get the lid off the brandy, Alex?"