Home-bound Humor Lover Pillows

"Good grief, Bradbury! How long have you been working at home?"

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Yard Sale

"Mulch madness"

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'How many times do I have to tell you about putting the toilet seat back up?'

"The blow drier is broken."

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

Search for Missing Socks

'Maybe putting 'Sleep 20 Hours A Day' first on the list wasn't such a good idea.'

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

'Classic literature for D.I.Y. haters'

'Certainly you may come in for a drink. You live here.'

'She let the bedbugs bite.'

Carpet Cows

'Harold, I told you not to eat the last piece of pie!'

"For God's sake! Let the man have his simple pleasures."

'George, I can't sleep with a window shade flapping! Get up and fix it!'

Hi love...one less for tea tonight

VARIOUS ITEMS OF LABELLED KITCHENWARE.

"I’ve changed my mind. I no longer want to conquer the world. I just want to conquer those two..."

"I can't sleep... it's too warm in here."

"Can I turn off the game and set the table? Ha, ha! Oh, honey, you are hilarious!"