Domestic Humor Enthusiasts Pillows

'I thought you were' going to straighten up the closet? . . . Too late. I just did it. Once again, the potential of promises is mugged in the alley by the 3 stooges - shoulda, coulda, and woulda.'

"You never clean up and your room looks like a war zone. We left it to the Americans and tomorrow, you’re moving to Jordan."

Dog is left a note reading 'Working late. Drop some leftovers on the floor.'.

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"Were we expecting a baby?"

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

"Mulch madness"

"I knew we agreed that you could be a stay-at-home dad, but that's when we decide to have children."

'... And your wife says; don't bother looking for the key to the drinks cabinet, because she's hidden it where you'll never find it.'

'Say, Hon. . . the pizza's burning.'

'How many times do I have to tell you about putting the toilet seat back up?'

"The blow drier is broken."

"Life is so much easier since I brought the XL Robovax for Clive."

There were a million things Alexander Hamilton hadn't done

"We need a new stove. This one's beginning to burn oil."

'He'll do the dishes now that I've attached an accelerator.'

'Maybe putting 'Sleep 20 Hours A Day' first on the list wasn't such a good idea.'

'I'm really thirsty.'

"Hang on, I'll get him for you."

'Harold, I told you not to eat the last piece of pie!'

'Certainly you may come in for a drink. You live here.'

"I'll be on the porch, pushing ninety."

"Good grief, Bradbury! How long have you been working at home?"

His and Hernia's towels.

'George, I can't sleep with a window shade flapping! Get up and fix it!'

"Please don't go!"

"Add Your Own Caption Week # 222"

Hi love...one less for tea tonight

"Can I turn off the game and set the table? Ha, ha! Oh, honey, you are hilarious!"

"I can't sleep... it's too warm in here."

Enthralled by the appealing throw pillows, Barry never saw the fighting pillow coming.

"For God's sake! Let the man have his simple pleasures."

"Now batting, No. 2, Derek Jeter—No. 2. Happy now, nut job?"