Holy Hypothetics Gifts

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

Night-time halo

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Golfing Bishop.

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"I have an app for that."

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

BLESS YOU

"I don't see HIS name on it."

Church In and Out Trays 'Lord Giveth' and 'Taketh away'

'Would you mind not drinking from the holy water?'

'We are gathered here...'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

"Holy Mackerel!"

'And then the Lord proclaimed, in a loud, thunderous voice...'

Excommunicate Me.

'Today's sermon is on the feeding of the five thousand...and I'll be giving you the recipe for that.'

Angels shopping in a store called "Heaven Pharmacy: Self-serve"

How's my Sermon . . .

"I opted for the upgrades."

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

'Man, I'm bombing,'

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

"Holy water, holy water...."

'World's Greatest Dad'

The Bible, signed copy.