Holy Hypothetics Pillows

"In the same of the phone, the tablet, and the desktop computer."

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

Night-time halo

Golfing Bishop.

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'No, smart guy -- it means all of them at once!'

'I hope you ain't got no tax up here!'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"I have an app for that."

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

"We'll just have the loaves and fishes. . ."

BLESS YOU

Church In and Out Trays 'Lord Giveth' and 'Taketh away'

"I don't see HIS name on it."

'Would you mind not drinking from the holy water?'

"Holy Mackerel!"

'Golly, is it that time already?'

'We are gathered here...'

Angels shopping in a store called "Heaven Pharmacy: Self-serve"

'Today's sermon is on the feeding of the five thousand...and I'll be giving you the recipe for that.'

'Man, I'm bombing,'

"Holy water, holy water...."

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

"I opted for the upgrades."

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

Excommunicate Me.

How's my Sermon . . .

The Bible, signed copy.