Hollywood Skeptic Gifts

"I've been watching British shows on hulu. They're strange."

At the 'Feel Good' movie of the year.

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"The moral of the story, honey, is that being a celebrity does not make you a credible children’s book author."

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

"Well, son. . . here your dad makes the famous 'fresh from nature' food!"

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health for a full 13 episodes...?

Alicia Vikander

Organic foods stand manned by stallholder using fly spray.

Moby Dick the Demi Moore Version

'It's bad enough I get overrules at home... why here also, Sharon?'

"Call my attorney and say that I killed Ted in self-defense. Call my publicist and say that I wish Ted the best of luck in all his future endeavors."

Life on Earth - Why bother?

'Magazine, yes. Book, maybe. Musical dance - never in a million!'

"Please, no more movies about feelings."

Mega Studios. Script. It's an action-packed sequel to the "Grapes of Wrath" where the hero goes berserk! We call it "Joad Rage"!

"What you ain't - is A GENT!"

The Bridge II

"I hate these walkabouts. Did you remember to get me some corn plasters?"

"I tried to rob a bank and failed! I tried to steal an old ladies bag and failed! So why not use as my defense, the old saying, 'You can't blame a person for trying'?"

"I'm not a fan of biblical movies."

Foreign Policy Mysteries Revealed!

"Is there a discount for someone who doesn't want to see the movie?"

Warning! The next programme contains no celebrities.

"Boss, if you could be any superhero, which one would it be?" "Insurance-Adjuster-Man." "In a world where superheroes were real, there'd be an awful lot of collateral damage to buildings and infrastructure." "Insurance-Adjuster-Man would probably clear six figures by breakfast." "'Heroes' aren't in it for the money." "Of course they are. Take Lex Luthor, for instance..."

"That movie was released in 2015. It might be time for a reboot."

Celebrity Autobiography...

"Let's go to my sister's house. They have the 'Absolutely No Super Hero Movies Channel.'"

'We'd like to return it. There wasn't any on-screen chemistry between us.'

Roman Polanski to the Rescue

The Sequel is Coming

I'm going to the movies. What witless Hollywood excretion are you wasting your money on? An extremely thrifty one, nana. Really? It's a film based on reuse and recycling. Oh, right. The 13th remake of "Friday the Thirteenth." Is movie blood biodegradable?