Future Blockbuster Skeptic Gifts

'I like to keep up-to-date with the movies I'll be hating next year.'

"I'll show you our growth projections but only if you promise not to snicker."

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

"Well, you can't say they didn't warn us."

"Two directors, three adaptations plus 3-D, and they STILL screw it up!"

"Please, no more movies about feelings."

"It wasn't as good as his first book, 'Eating Worms.'"

"Oh yes, I've got the whole business computerised now"

"I hate these walkabouts. Did you remember to get me some corn plasters?"

'We'd like to return it. There wasn't any on-screen chemistry between us.'

"Is there a discount for someone who doesn't want to see the movie?"

"I'm not a fan of biblical movies."

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

Numb and Number.

'I can't see any future in my business.'

The Sequel is Coming

Permanent Annoying Logo TV.

'We spend a fortune on a big screen and he watches everything on his phone!'

"Would anyone like to hear about my bathroom extension?"

'I've traveled back in time to warn you...in the future you'll be charged a fee to watch television AND the commercials, you'll need a computer to hear music, and morons roam the streets with tiny phones they talk extremely loud into!'

"I'm sorry, but I can't commit to a full movie."

'Bob was horrified when he realised that he'd mixed up the perscriptions'

"I've been watching British shows on hulu. They're strange."

"I'm not so ready for interactive television."

'The sequel is never as good as the original.'

"Honey, if you don't mind, I'd prefer to keep the details of our marriage more analog than digital."