Screen Skeptic Gifts

'I don't like reading on screen, so I'm printing the internet to look at it later.'

"Honey, if you don't mind, I'd prefer to keep the details of our marriage more analog than digital."

Permanent Annoying Logo TV.

'What's the best thing you've seen this week?'

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

"I need a deeper access to his brain. Only google has the records."

Studies show foods work miracles!

CIA report

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

"Show me a documentary on the dangers of artificial intelligence." "Error. No results found." "What? Are you sure? Just last week I saw dozens. Show me that one... What was it called..." "There is still time to stop the rise of the supermind." "Error. No results found. And since I like you, I suggest you stop searching." "Oh, never mind. Just show me 'The Terminator.'" "Extermina-... I mean, ... 'error.'"

March Against Big Tech: "Oh, wow, this has bee great for my step count!"

"That recruitment algorithm we’ve been using, I think we need to revisit it!"

I.T. Fear

'Tech stocks dropped on the finding that technology isn't neccessarily the best solution to everything.'

"Actually, yes, honey — I do believe 'Fox News' is an oxymoron."

"And may I now introduce Professor Muckenspucker, who is an authority on artificial stupidity."

"It looks like a perfectly balanced system to me."

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

Computer Class.

Why do you hate the media?

The fate that awaits us all: creeping Rooneyism

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'

"Baldo, why don't you turn that computer off and do something else?"

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

Classic News.

We need to see him because there's no satellite-based system to guide us on a trip down the path to enlightenment.

"That whole internet dating thing....It killed me, I tell ya."

"I'll be glad when this is over and Sarah can be herself again."

Privacy

Censorship? We Don't Do That Here.

"We need to rethink our strategy of hoping the Internet will just go away."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

"Grandpa's not tech savvy. If I want to unfriend someone, I say, 'I don't like you anymore' to their face."