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"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

"It was terrifying experience being faced with that kind of compulsive, insane behaviour...I tell you it's positively the last time I put foot in the sales!"

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Cut Price

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

'What do you do with the time you save?'

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Mighty Man Of Justice Goes Christmas Shopping Part 1

"Ninja bread men"

Dear Diary. . . why, oh why, did I choose an adventure holiday?

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

Tourists and their Pets.

'You can forget the Captain's table-we're not paying that kind of money just to eat with the crew!'

'How very Cumbria.'

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

Non-Denominational Carols

'Now it fits.'

"It's a 'Black eye friday'. I got it in a fight over a 56 inch TV."

'Lining my pockets with aluminum foil so I can sneak Thanksgiving leftovers home.'

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"So last Christmas it was those Cabbage Patch Kids."

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

Panettone

* Let's stop here, they seem nice!

'I told you that letting him have a pet would cause a problem at migration time...'