Historical Recipes Gifts

'Why bother recreating the 5,000-year-old recipe fo the ancient Egyptians, when there's already one that old at the back of the fridge?'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

Cookbooks

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

Grandma's caf

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

Crossing the Nachos Grande

Witches of Instagram

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

"Tastes great, less killing!"

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"If you're such an expert, you cook the lobster next time."

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'

The First Roast Chicken.

Tortilla the Hun.

A boxing match between Apple Brown Betty and Apple Pan Dowdy

Murderous Chef

"My compliments to Mummy!"

'If Darwin had been the cook on the Beagle' 'Menu- its Evolution'.

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

"You betrayed her trust. You added spices to her soup. In Tia Carmen's eyes, you are an irresponsible youngster...and I don't blame her for doing this."

'Eggs, I'm cooking eggs!'

The kitchen at Abel Cottage

Never use a cookbook written by a mystery book author. You never know how things will turn out!