Historical Recipes Pillows

'Why bother recreating the 5,000-year-old recipe fo the ancient Egyptians, when there's already one that old at the back of the fridge?'

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

Cookbooks

"Sure, while you went out robbing folks I stayed here and made a nice quiche, and just to prove I'm not a sissy I made it with mountain lion instead of ham."

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

Grandma's caf

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Crossing the Nachos Grande

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

Witches of Instagram

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

"Tastes great, less killing!"

"But you said I should serve our guests the can of peas!"

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

'It appears to be a kosher for Passover recipe.'

The kitchen at Abel Cottage

'Eggs, I'm cooking eggs!'

"Which one of my fiendish offspring defaced the bordelaise recipe with SpongeBob?"

Tortilla the Hun.

Murderous Chef

The First Roast Chicken.

"My compliments to Mummy!"

Never use a cookbook written by a mystery book author. You never know how things will turn out!

'If Darwin had been the cook on the Beagle' 'Menu- its Evolution'.

"You betrayed her trust. You added spices to her soup. In Tia Carmen's eyes, you are an irresponsible youngster...and I don't blame her for doing this."

A boxing match between Apple Brown Betty and Apple Pan Dowdy

Stand back - while I whip something up