Family Recipes Gifts

"Damn, I forgot to get her kugel recipe."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

Chez Nous Menu

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

'Like death by salad.'

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

Cookbooks

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"Yo - I'm way overdone in here!"

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

'Thank you so much, but I just followed the directions in the cookbook.'

"I've combined a laxative and alphabet soup. I call it 'Letter Rip!'"

'Thanksgiving's no holiday for turkeys or the women who cook them.'

"Can you turn these mashed potatoes into french fries?"

Making healthy substitutions at mealtime

"Looks like it's time to make the banana bread."

'For the first 500 calories of what we are about to receive, make us truly thankful.'

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

Witches of Instagram

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

A man and baby wearing bibs

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

'A hacker broke into our computer and, in an act of human kindness, deleted your mother's recipe for peppers and meat loaf.'

'I'm saving some for leftovers tomorrow.'

"Ok, Griffin — let him see Mom’s roast!"

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

"You're close, but you're not the record. The record for one family in one booth—all from out of state, each ordering a complete breakfast—was set in 1978, with fifteen."

"Ah! The Amazing Mommy and her tray of condiments!"