Family Cooking Gifts

"Honey, I appreciate the effort, but you're frightening our son."

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Lady of the Cake.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

Domestic Goddess.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"You do like octopus?"

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

Chez Nous Menu

'Like death by salad.'

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

'But Mom, I like potatoes in their jackets.'

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

'Protein, starch, vegetable??? When you said 'square meal' I thought PIZZA IN A BOX!'

'I'm worried about him, he eats his vegetables, but not his dessert!'

"Five hamburgers with buns, three hamburgers without buns and two buns, without hamburgers."

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

"Oh, mournful and terrible engine of horror and crime—of agony and of death, not asparagus again!"

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

Is that pancake ready yet?

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Lockdown casserole

"That table is yours once that party decides to move to the suburbs."

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

Baking